This website has moved……

from California to Ohio.

The new IP is 173.83.6.2 .

The old IP was 64.62.148.103 .

1. I love Scott.

2. I miss him when he is at work.

3. Lois&Clark: The New Adventures of Superman can be a little ridiculous. Well, a lot ridiculous.

4. I have been sleeping a lot. Passed out right after class yesterday. Throughout the week I just get more and more drained so by the time Friday comes around, I’m just seriously exhausted.

5. Zena is sleeping on my lap right now with half her body over my arm. This is impeding my typing right now.

6. I really don’t want to do my homework right now. I’ve already finished what actually has to be turned in.

7. I’m freaking out because I still have to go in tomorrow and study for my job. AHHH!!! I can’t wait until ALS and CDCs is over.

8. I’m sick of being cold and can’t wait til it starts warming up again. To, you know, above 60.

9. I want to cook a lot more with my crockpot that I got for Christmas. I made some chili that turned out pretty tasty. I think I wanna make one of those breakfast casserole thingies.

10. I want to try out a couple of the Christmas gifts I got for Scott.

Bounce.

I’ve been at my current station for almost a year now. There was a lot more waiting but I’m pretty used to that. So, after four years of being in the Air Force, I finally started my job, which I am still not 100% sure of what I am supposed to be doing. But it is all good. Because I am really, really happy.

I took some college classes to get on my way to a bachelor’s degree. I originally planned for a degree in business administration, but I want to change that. The classes I did take were library skills, psychology, and economics. I got an “A” in all of them. I don’t know how I managed in economics. Cuz I definitely freaked out during the final exam and didn’t even do some of the assignments. But, hey, I am not complaining. I’m just a couple classes away from my CCAF.

I currently live on base but am looking at another place off base. It’s for rent/sale. If I am able to rent it for the next year and really like it, I might consider buying it. By this time, I will have re-enlisted or at least made a final decision about it. The house is for a good price. It’s actually a middle townhome but it’s been kept up really nicely. It has three bedrooms and three and a half bathrooms, all of decent sizes. A beautiful place, really. I’ll be moving in with a couple of my friends – Silva, Mariah, and Scott (who happens to be my boyfriend).

And Scott is amazing. He’s a big reason why I’ve been so happy. Immensely happy. We’ve been dating for three months now. I’ve known him for almost two years, though. I met him while we were at DLI and working on CQ. Kind of lost touch for a year but then invited him to play laser tag. And then slowly started hanging out. I think we hung out several times a week since April and then started dating in June. And it’s been wonderful. He listens to me when I talk. He never makes me feel stupid even though I think he is much more intelligent than I am. And he really is smart. He’ll often make a random reference that I will have no idea what he’s talking about. But he’ll explain it to me. And when I’m in one of my “moods” he is very patient and lets me get over it.

Even though he does make me very happy, I still have my insecurities. But I am working through them. I think there are things we are both insecure about but we aren’t letting it stop us from working everything out.

Anyways, I feel like I’ve written a book here, So I am going to go ahead and log off. Plus, Zena is starting to stretch onto my keyboard.

I’ve been really busy with class and trying to stay a step ahead so I don’t get washed back or washed out. That has me stressed. Also, I still have no idea where I am being stationed so I can’t even really plan anything yet. And I graduate on November 5! I need to know so I can budget my money. I know I want to move off base. So, I need to start planning out furniture and stuff. There is just so much to do!

There have already been a couple people who have come and gone as friends. One of them, we don’t even acknowledge each other in passing. There’s a big backstory to that, though. One I really don’t want to get into. He lied. That sums it up. Another friend got mad at me. Instead of telling me what was wrong, he acted weird around me and then I asked if he was mad at me. “eh” was his reply. Then, I gave him a day and I asked him again when he was still being weird and he just said “eh” again. I asked him to tell my why and he won’t tell me. It just fucking pisses me off because I have no idea what I did. Gah. So, I’m just sick of trying to make friends while still in tech school.

Cecilia and Colin might be coming to visit this weekend. I’m excited about that. I just have to call the Angelo Inn today, during the day and try to make a reservation for them. Also, I am gonna be going out with someone on Saturday. I’m nervous because I don’t know if I like the guy or not. But, I have only talked to him once.

Sooo…. I’m gonna go. I’m watching “Pleasantville” before going to bed. I’m surprised that I’m still awake. I had a big cup of coffee in class today.

I’ve recently been told, or, at least, this is what I get from it, I am not dateable because I am too ignorant about different things. I hate the fact that this really hurts. Because it’s actually a fear of mine. But, y’know what? F.U. I’m only 21 years old. I still have plenty of time to learn. To develop. To get to that place I need to be. What I really need to do is get away from these people that make me feel like crap all the time. The ones that take advantage and/or don’t take me seriously. I am sick of being the one always kicked aside.

I’m worried about Stephanie. I hope everything goes okay with her.

Now, on to a more positive, happy topic. I am loving class. I can’t wait until I actually start my job. Though, class is becoming a bit more stressful. It’s sudoku and word search and crossword all mixed up. Add about a pound of crack. And that is what I am doing right now. It’s great.

I’m already tired of doing my whining and pity party so I am going to go ahead and go.

If I had a really small place, this would be my dream kitchen

Jackson, Cecilia, Me

My best friend here is Cecilia. We’ve been hanging out and I feel like I can talk to her about stuff. We”ve been on CQ since the beginning of January and we took a couple of trips. Well, we got a few new people on our shift though Colin and Jerry are the only ones that have actually stuck. Jerry is very quiet, listens to his ipod most of the time. Colin is really nice and seems very confident. I feel like I can talk to him about some things. For a little while, and I mean a very short while, I was under the delusion that I liked him. We, meaning him, Cecilia, and I hung out a few times and stuff. Then I found out that he invited her to go sailing and not me. I got EXTREMELY jealous and acted very cold toward them at work that night. Well, this past weekend, we were all hanging out again and I found out that they were going to go to a really nice place together. Again, I got really upset. And I realized that it wasn’t her going with him that I was upset about. It was that she was doing something fun, happy, and actually being invited somewhere that I really got jealous of. I feel like I’ve been taken advantage of or that I am the one chasing after people to be my friends.

Aside to this, Colin is really annoying. Like, tonight, I tried to explain/tell someone something and he talked over me and told it instead. And then we were playing TABOO and he kept butting in and trying to give clues to my cards. I know it doesn’t sound like a big thing but every time he did this it would just mess me up. I hate when people interrupt me. I wish they would just keep their fucking mouth shut for a few more seconds so I could finish. Colin is really a great guy. Very nice. But it’s just not a trait that I can handle in someone who is closer than an occasional close friend. Ugh. But, he better not hurt Cecilia because I will hurt him.

I am still waiting on a job assignment. I”m starting to get a little impatient. And I think it”s partly because of a bunch of incompetent assholes who do not know how to do their jobs. Major Castro had to tell them AGAIN that I cannot be airborne. Ugh.

So, I am going to try to post the picture of my tattoo on here. Now, let”s see how incompetent I am with computers.

I feel really lonely. So apart from everyone. But, because of a promise I made to Nicole, I am not going to do anything rash. Talking to her helps. But, today, I actually called my mom. And I cried for about twenty minutes straight. I used my break from work to go back to my room and cry.

I’ve been trying to make these stupid french doughnuts. The first time, I fucked up the very first step, which was the yest. I got all the way through. Chilled the dough for the right amount of time, but it was a flop because of the yeast. So I tried to make it again yesterday. Yeast turned out good. The dough was perfect. Now the problem was that I didn’t pay attention to the temperature of the oil I was frying it in, so the outside of it cooked perfect and the inside was just dough. Blagh! I still have some dough left. I”m going to try one more time tomorrow to get the oil the right temperature and make the perfect beignets. I also need to get a great recipe for some awesome hot chocolate to go with these morsels of deliciousness.

But now, I really don’t feel like cooking at all. Or anything really. I was going to go out drinking with some friends, and I use that term loosely, but I think I’m just going to go find something else to do. Lynn told me about a movie playing at the Osio called 12. It’s in Russian and is basically like the American movie 12 Angry Men, which I absolutely love!

Also, I am getting my tattoo tomorrow. 6pm. I can”t wait.

I’m just tired of talking right now. I know it”s been a while since I last posted, but…. whatever.

..’