E K M W 511

I’m not sure if anyone still reads this. And why would they? I haven’t posted anything on here in a really long time. Partly because I’ve been busy. Also partly because I just haven’t been inspired to sit down and write anything. I sound as if this “inspiration” is for me to write someone really important, not just about what’s going on in my life.

I’ve been at my current station for almost a year now. There was a lot more waiting but I’m pretty used to that. So, after four years of being in the Air Force, I finally started my job, which I am still not 100% sure of what I am supposed to be doing. But it is all good. Because I am really, really happy.

I took some college classes to get on my way to a bachelor’s degree. I originally planned for a degree in business administration, but I want to change that. The classes I did take were library skills, psychology, and economics. I got an “A” in all of them. I don’t know how I managed in economics. Cuz I definitely freaked out during the final exam and didn’t even do some of the assignments. But, hey, I am not complaining. I’m just a couple classes away from my CCAF.

I currently live on base but am looking at another place off base. It’s for rent/sale. If I am able to rent it for the next year and really like it, I might consider buying it. By this time, I will have re-enlisted or at least made a final decision about it. The house is for a good price. It’s actually a middle townhome but it’s been kept up really nicely. It has three bedrooms and three and a half bathrooms, all of decent sizes. A beautiful place, really. I’ll be moving in with a couple of my friends – Silva, Mariah, and Scott (who happens to be my boyfriend).

And Scott is amazing. He’s a big reason why I’ve been so happy. Immensely happy. We’ve been dating for three months now. I’ve known him for almost two years, though. I met him while we were at DLI and working on CQ. Kind of lost touch for a year but then invited him to play laser tag. And then slowly started hanging out. I think we hung out several times a week since April and then started dating in June. And it’s been wonderful. He listens to me when I talk. He never makes me feel stupid even though I think he is much more intelligent than I am. And he really is smart. He’ll often make a random reference that I will have no idea what he’s talking about. But he’ll explain it to me. And when I’m in one of my “moods” he is very patient and lets me get over it.

Even though he does make me very happy, I still have my insecurities. But I am working through them. I think there are things we are both insecure about but we aren’t letting it stop us from working everything out.

Anyways, I feel like I’ve written a book here, So I am going to go ahead and log off. Plus, Zena is starting to stretch onto my keyboard.

It’s been forever since I’ve been on my site. I don’t know why either. I think I just have to be in the mood to really sit down and write. Or type.

I’ve been really busy with class and trying to stay a step ahead so I don’t get washed back or washed out. That has me stressed. Also, I still have no idea where I am being stationed so I can’t even really plan anything yet. And I graduate on November 5! I need to know so I can budget my money. I know I want to move off base. So, I need to start planning out furniture and stuff. There is just so much to do!

There have already been a couple people who have come and gone as friends. One of them, we don’t even acknowledge each other in passing. There’s a big backstory to that, though. One I really don’t want to get into. He lied. That sums it up. Another friend got mad at me. Instead of telling me what was wrong, he acted weird around me and then I asked if he was mad at me. “eh” was his reply. Then, I gave him a day and I asked him again when he was still being weird and he just said “eh” again. I asked him to tell my why and he won’t tell me. It just fucking pisses me off because I have no idea what I did. Gah. So, I’m just sick of trying to make friends while still in tech school.

Cecilia and Colin might be coming to visit this weekend. I’m excited about that. I just have to call the Angelo Inn today, during the day and try to make a reservation for them. Also, I am gonna be going out with someone on Saturday. I’m nervous because I don’t know if I like the guy or not. But, I have only talked to him once.

Sooo…. I’m gonna go. I’m watching “Pleasantville” before going to bed. I’m surprised that I’m still awake. I had a big cup of coffee in class today.

I still haven’t gotten off of my rollercoaster. The same one that I’ve been on for a while now. Letting myself go into the same plunges over and over again. Then getting on those highs. It’s getting really old. And I guess the only person I can blame is myself. I can slow down the cart. Readjust. Or just stop, get off, and jump onto the one that goes on and on, with no end in sight. Instead of my current one. My current Circular one.

I’ve recently been told, or, at least, this is what I get from it, I am not dateable because I am too ignorant about different things. I hate the fact that this really hurts. Because it’s actually a fear of mine. But, y’know what? F.U. I’m only 21 years old. I still have plenty of time to learn. To develop. To get to that place I need to be. What I really need to do is get away from these people that make me feel like crap all the time. The ones that take advantage and/or don’t take me seriously. I am sick of being the one always kicked aside.

I’m worried about Stephanie. I hope everything goes okay with her.

Now, on to a more positive, happy topic. I am loving class. I can’t wait until I actually start my job. Though, class is becoming a bit more stressful. It’s sudoku and word search and crossword all mixed up. Add about a pound of crack. And that is what I am doing right now. It’s great.

I’m already tired of doing my whining and pity party so I am going to go ahead and go.

If I had a really small place, this would be my dream kitchen

Jackson, Cecilia, Me